The Regal Rumble (Parody of the Royal Rumble) was a pay-per-view hosted by Ebenezer Mittlesdorf along with Hans van Gruber Schmidt and Jay Are. It was sponsored by Porn Flakes and Doritos Jacked off. (These are parodies of Corn Flakes and Doritos Jacked).  

JAY ARE said they forgot about Shittles and

Then stupidstars are come filling in like Alberto Dorito, Roddy Peeper,Dick Ryder,Gey Mysterio, Kofi Cockwagon, Big D Bangston, Randy Abortion, Bret the Shitman Shart, Coldust, and The Lousy Khali are coming first.

Seconds into the match, Coldust is eliminated by Bret. Following that, Kofi Cockwagon elimnates himself as he is about to go after Dorito. After Cockwagon is out, Bret goes after Dorito while he is trying to eliminate Dorito the next entrant is Rybutt and he quickly eliminates Bret and Dorito. After that Rybutt eliminates Peeper,Brtn, Antonio Cesario(who was unannounced in the beginning) Mysterio, Khali, and Ryder.

Then the next entrant comes who is Fanasshole who comes out with Summer Fae, when he is about to enter the ring Rybutt threw Big D Bangston onto Fae causing Fanasshole to be upset then the next entrant comes which is Grimlock Rybutt said he is not afraid of him then Grimlock changes to a dinasour and bites Rybutts head and eliminates him.

Then Fanasshole comes in but he is attacked. Right when Grimlock is about to eliminate him, the next entrant Buttista comes in eliminates them both. After that the next entrants come to the ring and it is the Tag Team Champs, The Cock along with Woody, who start attacking Buttista then the next two entrants Chris Gloryhole and Damien Wellendow comes in attacking the champs Gloryhole attacks The Cock while Wellenhow teabags Woody then The Cock eliminates Gloryhole and Woody tries to spear Wellenhow but Buttista throws Woody out of the ring then Buttista grabs a lighter and burns The Cocks face and elimnating him and Wellenhow.

Then The Giz comes and attacks Buttista but both of them are eliminated by the Shit Show and other entrants Shitsky, Mr. Frontbrick,Pornswoggle, and Blodous Clay come into the ring but all of them are attacked by Show then the next entrant Darth Ziggler comes in and uses the force on Show and throws him out of the ring and then he eliminates the other 4 with the force.

Then the next entrant Roman Rape eliminates Ziggler from behind then The Shit Shield comes in and attacks Rape then more entrants come Ledge,STD,Spaghetti Marella,Hurthis Asshole,Bull Shit Barrett,Shitmus,Mike Tyson Kidd, and Fart Henry, Barrett is about to say some Bullshit but Henry throws him out,then STD eliminates Edge. Meanwhile The Shit Shield starts attacking Rape in the corner then Seth Trollins eliminates himself due to him saying he can't be in a sausage fest to long then Shitmus told Trollins to get back in the ring but is quickly eliminated by Henry.

In the corner Rape fights off The Shit Shield while the next two entrants Big Gay Zeke and Gay Wyatt comes in but are quickly attacked by Rape. Rape attacks all the entrants and he eliminates The whole Shit Shield and Spaghetti Marella. Then the next entrant Cryin Daniel Bryan comes flying and attacks and eliminates Wyatt and Big Gay Zeke after he was conforted by STD causing Bryan to be distracted STD tries to eliminate Bryan but holds on.

Meanwhile Rape eliminates Hurthis, Henry and Kidd. Then 3 new entrants enter the rumble Sin Botcha,Sweet P,and Solid Steel Steve enter the rumble then Sweet P goes after Rape then Steve and STD worked together to eliminate Bryan but Shrek comes in and eliminates Steve but Bryan threw Shrek into STD causing both of them to be eliminated.Then Yokosuma comes in and attacks Bryan.

Meanwhile Sweet P attacks Rape in the corner and Hunico comes in the rumble but pulls out a gun shoots Sin Botcha out of the ring but Hunico is eliminated by The Hulkster. Then the next entrant Super Cena comes in and attacks Yokosuma then Co-Kane tries to figure out a way to eliminate Cena.Then spiders came out of Nikki and starts to attack Cena but is saved by Bryan.

He eliminates one of the spiders but the other one is stuck on Bryan he finally eliminated by throwing at Co-Kane but he also eliminates himself then Co-Kane gets up and punches Cena and then he attacks him. Then the next two entrants Meth Hardy and Tidle Your Hair but it actully turns out their just there to eliminate Co-Kane.Meanwhile Cena tries to eliminate Yokosuma and The Hulkster but D-Generation Sex and NWBlow enter the match and Cena eliminates Hulkster and Yokosuma and in the corner Sweet P eliminates Rape.

Then Cena throws Cripple H Onto Scotch Hall and Chow Dogg and Cena eliminates Diesballs then the next entrant Stone Cold Bear Austin comes in but HBK shoots Austin with a shotgun.Then Super Cena throws out Sweet P.Then Nacho Man comes out with a gun then HBK and Nacho Man pull out their gun to see who shoots first but they both shoot each other and fly out of the ring.Then the next entrant Bork Laser comes in and attacks Cripple H,and Chow Dogg then he eliminates Dogg.

The final entrant is BM Punk who has Bork's son if Bork made a single move Punk will kill his son but Punk killed Bork's son seconds later Cryin Daniel Bryan attacks Punk and gets him in the ring.Bork quickly attacks him and tears him up into pieces and throws his boots out of the ring thus eliminating Punk.

After that he eliminates Scotch Hall.Then were down to three Super Cena Cripple H and Bork Laser then Alicia Fox comes out with FOX news saying there are three men left then Bork comes out saying that he wants to be her girlfriend.Meanwhile Cripple H takes off the top rope but Cena stops him and tries to eliminate but is stuck but then Bork threw Alicia onto both of them then Bork throws Cena and Cripple H out of the ring and win the rumble

Winner of the match: Bork Laser.


When Sweet P eliminates Roman Rape you can see Roman's feet on the stairs.

Eliminations, Times, and Entrants Edit

  1. Alberto Dorito 1:01 3
  2. Roddy Roddy Peeper 1:08 6
  3. Dick Ryder 9 1:15
  4. Gay Mysterio 8 1:15
  5. Kofi Kockwagon 0:46 2
  6. Big D Bangston 1:26 11
  7. Randy Borton 1:08 7
  8. Bret The Shitman 1:01 4
  9. Coldust 0:30 1
  10. The Lousy Khali 1:15 10
  11. Rybutt 0:59 12
  12. The Great Blontonio 0:17 5
  13. Tan Ass Hole 0:55 13
  14. Grimlock 0:33 14
  15. Buttista 1:05 20
  16. The Cock 0:45 17
  17. Woody 0:32 16
  18. Damien Wellendowed 0:33 18
  19. Chris Gloryhole 0:11 15
  20. The Jiz 0:05 19
  21. The Bare Ass Shit Show 0:19 21
  22. Gene Saw Shitsky 0:28 24
  23. Mr. Ferprick 0:28 22
  24. Bloated Clay 0:28 25
  25. Pornswoggle 0:28 23
  26. Darth Ziggler 0:22 26
  27. Roman Rape 5:08 48
  28. Seth Trollins 0:55 29
  29. Moldberg 1:19 32
  30. Dean Asshole 1:19 31
  31. The Oldertaker 1:19 33
  32. Ledge 0:37 28
  33. STD 2:40 41
  34. Spaghetti Marella 1:17 34
  35. Hurtis Asshole 1:50 38
  36. Bullshit Barra 0:26 27
  37. Shitmus 0:56 30
  38. Mike Tyson Kidd 1:50 39
  39. Fart Henry 1:50 37
  40. Gay Wyatt 0:29 36
  41. Big Gay Zeke 0:29 35
  42. Cryin Daniel Bryan 2:43 44
  43. Sin Botcha 0:54 43
  44. Solid Steel Steve 0:23 40
  45. Sweet Pea 3:34 51
  46. Shrek The Animal Steel 0:22 42
  47. The Huckster 1:49 47
  48. Yokosumo 1:49 46
  49. Hunico 0:12 43
  50. Super Cena 5:05 58
  51. Co-Kane 0:08 45
  52. Cripple H 3:40 57
  53. Chow Dogg 1:35 54
  54. Scotch Hall 2:37 56
  55. Dies-Balls 0:29 49
  56. Sean Michaels (Hart Burn Kid) 1:15 52
  57. Stone Cold Bear Austin 0:11 50
  58. Nacho Man 0:10 53
  59. Bork Laser Winner
  60. BM Punk 0:50 55

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